Evening. A restaurant. Cozy atmosphere. Candles are burning at a table by the window; you and your man are sitting at its different ends. Quiet, pleasant music plays, a romantic saxophone sounds. You look at your spouse, and he deliberately intently studies the menu, occasionally glancing at his watch and looking around at the interior features of this fashionable establishment. You glance at your own plate, slowly crushing and kneading a nearby napkin. And your thoughts are somewhere very far away, not here, not in a restaurant. You catch yourself on the fact that you have absolutely nothing to talk about with your man. You recall the time when you felt good together, and in desperation trying to understand what is happening? Why is it so boring with her husband? And what to do?
Crisis in a relationship
Psychologists note the onset of a critical moment in more than every other family. The problem is that due to various factors - the financial crisis, marital infidelity, the influence of household chores or any other aspects of life in marriage - in almost any couple, there comes a moment when the situation is heating up and relations become tense. Moreover, experts say that in fact this is normal. It would probably be worse if everyone in the family allowed himself to do what he wanted, and at the same time he would not care about the reaction of the partner.
Boredom, as a potential crisis moment in a relationship, often appears then when the monotonous lifestyle of a married couple is not diluted in any way with new sensations and fresh emotions. And here it’s not even a matter of whether the spouses have children and whether they are the cause of this state of affairs. Although, in its own way, here you can look at the situation from the angle of a certain detachment of a woman from her husband’s affairs due to her deep involvement in the process of motherhood and upbringing. But then you have to talk about the boredom of a man, not a woman. This man can be disgusted by his wife’s cold attitude towards him and her transfer of all her attention and free time to children. And as for the woman and her problems in a similar vein? What to do when she is bored with her husband? How to bring back passion in a relationship?
If you suddenly become bored with your husband, you will be scared by your growing towards him indifference, try to analyze your relationship and identify the primary source of such feelings. After all, everything in this world is based on the existence of causal relationships that explain certain objects and phenomena that are present in nature. And the psychology of the relationship between husband and wife is no exception - here, on the contrary, one can most clearly trace the pattern of consequences that are provoked by specific causes and, in one way or another, lead to these consequences. Simply put, each, absolutely every problem has a prerequisite: before a thunderstorm, clouds first gather in the sky.
What are the main causes of boredom in a relationship?
- The monotonous rhythm of life .
- Lack of moments of spending time together.
- Excessive employment of spouses.
- Lack of attention to each other.
- Rare sex.
- Courageous couples and aimless swimming with the flow.
In some cases, there are still a lot of other nuances, but mainly reasons of stagnation in the relationship arise because of one of these factors or a combination of several of them.
What to do?
When a woman realizes that she has become bored with her husband, it initially introduces into a stupor. But the bottom line is that this kind of phenomenon in a relationship does not occur suddenly. It has, so to speak, an accumulative system of causal relationships, which is growing in a snowball and at one fine moment makes itself felt to a woman at the most inopportune moment. The first reaction is perplexity, a lack of understanding of what to do with what is happening. And then comes the emergence of claims against the man, a biased attitude towards him, irritability in dealing with him and indifference to his problems, his desires, and, ultimately, to himself. But how to get rid of boredom, how to save a marriage before it falls apart from cooled down feelings?
Psychologists recommend in such cases to go through several simple tasks that will help assess the situation, look at it from different angles. They will make it possible to identify moments that are critical points in a relationship and contribute to the development of a feeling of boredom in a marriage with the greatest degree of influence on a woman’s mind. What are these tasks? And what needs to be done to get rid of boredom in relations with a husband?
Refusal of claims
The first thing is to ignore your annoying thoughts. Of course, that having realized the monotony and monotony of married life, a woman begins to react more sharply to any actions and words of her spouse. With each passing day, these claims are becoming more and more, and at one fine moment they still turn into a grand scandal. To prevent the launch of such a psychologically intense mechanism, a woman should pull herself together and be more objective. After all, it’s not at all a fact that the reason for the boring regularity in your couple is the behavior of only one man. It is likely that the actions of both parties led to this state of affairs.
Therefore, you should not relieve yourself of responsibility for what is happening in your family. Stand for a moment in the place of your young man: perhaps in his eyes you are also not as active as he would like. Perhaps he would also like to see in you a more noticeable interest in him, as a life partner.
Variety in bed
Sexologists say that the largest percentage of divorces is based on problems in the sexual life of partners. If young people do not satisfy each other's needs in bed, if an intimate relationship in their life is manifested too rarely, if both began to be indifferent to their appearance, and, accordingly, to their sexuality, then the probability of a couple breaking up increases significantly.
What needs to be done so that the sex life of the spouses returns to normal and returns to the regularity that was at the beginning of their relationship? In fact, on the part of the woman, a lot of possible actions can be taken to improve the intimate background in the couple.
- Romantic dinner with a continuation - wait for your spouse from work and appear in front of him in an elegant dress, with makeup , haircut and table set by candlelight. Children can be sent to grandmother. The main thing is for a man it was sudden. Having dined to soft relaxing music, invite your husband to the bedroom and do something that will bring both of you erotic pleasure.
- Get new sexy lingerie - your spouse may be tired of your conservative taste in choosing a comfortable, sporty, tight underwear for you linen. Go against your preferences, buy yourself lace, lace mesh or guipure set. Let it not be the usual black, let it be the color of passion - a bright scarlet or attractive Marsal shade of linen. Your husband will definitely like it.
- Erotic SMS - go against your rules. Are you not used to doing virtual erotica? But after all, your marriage is on the verge of collapse, prevent the usual boring life in its intentions to destroy your union. Do something that is completely unacceptable to you. Write a message with an intimate connotation to your husband. You’ll see when he comes home, he will tell you how such a sudden SMS in a place completely unusual for such things took him by surprise and how much this spontaneity excited him a lot.
If you suddenly realized that you were suddenly bored with your husband, who constantly disappears at work, is completely uninitialized and does not show you are not interested, pay attention to your external view. Perhaps the very fact that children, everyday life and household chores prevent you from constantly looking good has played an important role in cooling your spouse's feelings for you. Choose a day when you can tidy yourself up, visit a beautician and go shopping. Refresh your appearance, this will help you awaken your inner world as well and attract the attention of your man. It almost always works.
You may think that you are bored with your spouse because what really bored him with you. He sees your immersion in household chores and his own work and does not risk stirring you up. Pay attention to your lifestyle. Start to develop, move forward. Do what you like. Read, visit theaters, museums, excursions. And even better - bring your husband to this: where to go - you can choose mutually. It can be an entertainment complex, a bowling alley, an art gallery, or a cultural and entertainment event. Such trips will help you expand your horizons and, most importantly, get closer to your husband.
You should always talk with your spouse. Do not saw it, do not pretend, namely talk. Only in this way can you come to a common denominator and reach consensus. Talk to him more often. Ask how he is doing at work, how he feels after a cold, offer your help in some difficult questions for him. Look for an opportunity to communicate with your man as often as possible. Where to go with your husband, what to watch on TV in the evening, what to cook for your beloved spouse for dinner - these questions should constantly visit your head. If you strive to get closer to him, he will notice this and will meet you.
Tricks with jealousy
If you suspect that boredom in your marital relationship takes its roots from the absence of significant events and incidents, if you are disgusted by the monotony of your being, make your man jealous. Look at how his attitude will change and how his degree of attention to you and your pastime will increase. It’s important not to overdo it, but just to “pepper” a bit of fresh monotonous everyday life.
Change of scenery
Finally, so that life does not seem to you a boring routine, take a vacation and go with your husband to the river, to the forest, to rest abroad. Such things often work most effectively: you yourself won’t notice how you get close to your husband, and your feelings will resume with your former passion.